Enlightenment.  

I had been praying to see myself as beautiful... It was a prayer in my heart before meeting Jon. 
It was such a timid prayer I hardly ever felt my Father in Heaven paid mind to this emotionally ridden obsessive desire to know, yes physically, I was worthwhile. 
The vigil in my heart was sweetly answered one summer with a handsome burly man from Montana.  He took me in his arms and by surprise that he indeed knew I was beautiful.
And he did treat me like I was, he believed.
I will never let go of those fleeting, but time bending moments where I could appreciate who I was even physically. 
I now know more how this life's journey is contingent on the experiences we have in a body. 
This body.
My body. 
Well, the one God gave me.  
A body that will serve its purpose in my life's mission.

And years I felt my myself, my body, damaged goods, embarrassing and treated accordingly. I felt the damage on my heart trickling its mark on every small yet fatally flawed feature on my frame.

 

I am now shamefully stricken: I look, and gaze, even gawk at all kinds of people and images and creations and invariably persist to find beauty....

  

...what about myself that I am excluded?

I was thinking this last night in a yoga class as I admired my
classmates... their form, and free expression. I was soon and even now overwhelmed.
We are far more destined for beauty, grace and eternal love than we can realize.

We are beautiful.

 

 WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, simply, because we were CREATED to be that
way.

To this cause of creation, beauty is not a matter of opinion, fashion statement, BMI, a pair
of designer jeans... even a wedding dress.  These items were made far after your
divine worth was secured even sealed in blood by choosing to be born on this
earth and follow our Savior's ways.  These same worldly markers will
fade and die long before you do-- you will be resurrected!  You were
made beautifully, you were made for forever.

This is a rough start but yes, I wrote a SINCERE list of things I like
about my physical appearance, about this body I have been given (it
is amazing how guilty and uncomfortable I feel comprising this list.)

 

 Sara's Body List

 I like how strong my legs are, that when I walk they rumble.  
Thunder always rumbles before lightning strikes, powerful
Lighting might appear more impressive as a quick flash,
but rumbling legs MOVE earth.
I like that I build strength quickly.
I am not a waif.
I am not svelte, or a thin girl.
I am a strong woman.
I like my round hips and belly, and lower back: they are curvy and no
matter how small I ever get those curves don’t straighten.
I like my freckles.
I like my petite hands and feet, I can always find a shoe sale

 ...and will always need a custom ring.
I like that I have recently gained some weight in my rear, it now
sticks out far, and makes me proportionate and athletic looking

 I like that the only place my pants have hard time fitting is THERE.

I think I may just rumble all over now.

I like my hair right now, the natural color, the fly a way's in every pony.

I like my small teeth, that they sparkle when I smile.

I like that my unruly ostentatious brows, they frame my face and

aren't perfectly sculpted for a reason-- I like them that way.

I like that my body can do so much more than I ever thought possible,

this past month I am so much stronger, with better endurance.

I like that I am not the same waif I was ten years ago.

I have endured much, and my body can show that I am different than I was.

This is a small maybe silly step, but in my heart a very sincere turning point and offering to arrive at self acceptance. 

I love God's children, His mountains of grandeur, and feel touched often to tears seeing a flower growing amicably amid the weeds.  

How can I truly feel immense appreciation for these tender creations, the flowers even my fellow beautiful yogi, but exclude myself from His list of beautiful creations?  

Can I, a mere mortal, decide just what IS and ISN'T worth praise?  

In the 13th article of faith it says not only do we love virtuous and lovely but we SEEK AFTER THESE THINGS.  I am worth being sought after, and so are you:)